Have i finally grown up!

My lack of ingenuity fails to fathom our desire to surround ourselves with negativity in the face of happiness,finding faults or condemning the most innocuous of actions and not being completely honest with our loved ones.Relationships can be best described as a collage of different emotions where each piece should be unique and pieced together with utmost care not overstepping on the other.
More than trust, i think, the essence of every relationship is based on mutual understanding and acceptance of the other person's views, even if u disagree,in that case we can put forth our opinions without negating theirs and respecting others individuality.Relationships bonded by blood also run the risk of going astray if neglected or discredited so other relationships for example between friends,couples,colleagues etc.should be handled with more maturity and openness; not once forgetting the fact that they are all precious, thus have to be nurtured.
Basically all relationships are governed by love, compassion and mutual respect, care should be taken not to let asperity pierce the fine fabric of faith woven by  each other otherwise it will leave a debilitating effect  and  later on each scar will narrate its story.Generally when situations fail to play to our tunes, we tend to become overcritical and over analyze them; in that case we can either frustrate ourselves  or just accept and move on not to let bitterness creep in.
In a way we all are victims of the choices which lead to our present circumstances and at times the circumstances force the choices on us: either way the reality has to be accepted as we cannot force them to  confirm to our beliefs  in order to escape self condemnation and frustration.
In the early stages of any relationship,the focus is mainly on the virtues and more on the surface but as time goes by the togetherness deepens and reality bites: take your call as to which level the relationship will go and accept it without ever underestimating it.Since change is an essential part of growing up, be prepared to embrace it and adjust to it to eschew stagnation or find yourself on the path of rejection and unhappiness,both within and around.No matter what mood you are in, take care not to hurt the people you love and respect because they have no part to play in the events that are unfolding before you,either make them a party or restrain yourself till you clear the dust.
this is a very insignificant occurrence yet an important one; yesterday night,due to some problem with the AC of our room, we were forced to shift to the guest room; morning greeted me with freshness and agility and I felt the absence of aches and pains which i accredited to vitamin deficiency and for which i was regularly popping pills:the change of mattress did the trick.I suffered for so long and this somehow escaped my attention.uh!

Its about living life

The existence of a greater force which guides us and at times even protects us never ceases to amaze me, provided we are able to feel the signs and pick up the clues. The other day during one of my spells of disenchantment after dropping my daughter for her tutorial class I ambled my way towards a nearby park, walking past a row of houses on my right my string of thought was interrupted by a voice emanating from one of them.Through the main door i found a lady sitting in the veranda of her house who beckoned me inside,ambivalently i entered her premise i guess my gait was a total give away because she guessed my purpose of loitering around.She was eighty-ish and seemed quite amiably in need of a company:I took the chair next to her and we started chatting her accent and mannerism confirmed she was no ordinary grandma,she retired as a professor of botany from Osmania university Hyderabad and  settled here some ten years back with her son and his family.
She was a complete stranger at that time, armed with confidence, knowledge and enthusiasm she set to woo people,her first step was to help develop the park then she started  teaching the marginalized children of the locality in the park ,her house or vacant spaces around her place,she made friends.She also became an active member of the Arya Samaj and helped people selflessly,according to her being part of a joint family, traits like responsibility ,sharing and caring came naturally to her which is sadly absent in people like us living on the other side of the fence, but now because of her failing health, since the last few days she was confined to her house and unable to move.On asked about the pre-independence days she talked animatedly about her experiences all this while the twinkle in her eyes was unmistakable no wonder her charm enthused people which was vouched for by her friend who had just joined us.
By now it was time to rescue my daughter from the travails all the parents must put their children through the paces in the tutorials today,I bid her adieu and as i walked back i wondered maybe its her generosity and sociability which is her key to happiness and which motivates her to go on.
Today i learnt an important lesson,we all have lives to live but the reason to live differs .In the end I wish to ask one question,should we be happy first to be able to give happiness or should we be happy in others happiness?

About Positivity

wow! it feels great to be back to my healthy self.Was under the weather since last couple of days and felt so down and out, both physically as well as mentally,to the extent, a friend even complained of me forever  being complaining.Sorry but aren't friends meant to lend an ear as well as a shoulder?fine!can't be a burden all the time. I have started my morning walks from today,believe me,the morning air is magical,it seems to brush past me, taking away all my negativity and energizes my whole being.I recommend it to everyone,if not much,try making way for those 30 mins.of this magic potion i.e.fresh air and feel the difference. life should always be in a transitional phase,if it become static,then you stop growing and improving.  Friends, don't restrict yourself to the what,why and don'ts of life just keep flowing. I remember when i was in college some of my friends nick-named me 'Pareshaan Singh',i was forever whining and fretting over petty issues,as if it was difficult to be happy,gradually i learnt, i had become a loner with no friends at all and I set a target for myself.There are times,when we search for those very things which we've always had but ignored, as luck would have it, a friend of mine showed me the mirror,of course, I rebelled and the suggestions were outrageous but slowly acceptance crept in.I feel good now when people point out the difference in me.Maybe the change is subtle,but for sure it is.while you are running with the rats,just pause and look back,many are behind you too,some are aware of their destination and patiently climbing up the ladder,whereas,some are just chasing them mindlessly. It is better to decide a destination and enjoy the journey, with the sole aim of reaching it before sunset,rather than exhausting yourself and giving up mid way, which is very painful. So live life mast hoke.

The Day After

What an accomplishment! All hits and no misses. One seemed to be a miss, but later on that too turned out to be a hit and a good one at that. I was quite excited in the morning, but it being Ram Navmi that day, after paying obeisance to the almighty and begging for good sense to prevail on me, my mood was solemn and wicked ideas didn't even muster courage to knock on my humble mind's door. To my daughter's utter surprise and dismay this time I had turned saintly, anyway she prodded me to let myself flow and at least to salute the day AND not get caught up in the spirituality thing.With little enthusiasm I called my husband who was out station and after the usual exchange of pleasantries I started to roll the red carpet before him ,blame it on my monotonous tone he readily fell for the ploy. Now I was a bit fired up and moved on to my next victim who should have been my MIL but as luck would have it turned out to be my FIL. Wow! He too got caught in the silky web of my words, now the stage was set and I had to wait. Unaware of my mischievous designs my daughter in the evening reminded me of the lost opportunity and missing out on some good laughs, suddenly an evil idea struck me and in all honesty I pulled a fast one on my daughter. She asked me whether a friend of mine, who was de facto in my scheme of things, is trying to fool us or not?Well, I suppressed a laugh and assured her of my friend's good intentions, satisfied she left the house and after a while when her hard earned wisdom dawned on her she entered the house stomping her feet and found me laughing uncontrollably then we sat down laughing together and I told her about my other victims .As expected late in the evening both my husband and my FIL called and not to stretch things further I showed them the mirror and we all had a good laugh. The next day, my FIL jokingly said that he was wary of me since I fooled both father and son so convincingly. Yesterday in the middle of the night I felt the bed shake, thinking it was an earthquake, I prominently pinned it down in my conscious so that I could tell everyone in the morning of finally having felt one. In the morning, as I rushed to my daughter's room to fill her in of my experience, AND, she turned the other side and complained of having a bad night, I wondered why she didn't wake me up, and then she told me that  she had tried....... by gently shaking me.......
What?!

All Fool's Day (and the smart ones' too!)

Ok, so there are no takers for my happiness mantra, never mind, I am not giving up. Someday you all will come around and agree with me. Ah! Today is the most happening day of the whole year! I can be naughtily wicked without offending anyone, right from seniors to juniors, in-laws and outlaws alike. Last year I had five hits, and believe me I could successfully pull it off on at least four of the self proclaimed 'smart' people, including my dearest daughter, whose sole target in life is to make a complete fool of her parents everyday. Though there is no fun in directing a prank at my MIL(mother-in-law), since she always falls for one, being such a sweet lady, it is still an every year ritual(probably just to make the day).
 But, seriously, fooling the smarties gives a wild and wicked sense of accomplishment, which is incomparable . The trick lies in coming up with an adorably innocent puppy face, a tongue dripping with honey, and then of course, the actual plot has to be very convincing and conveyed in all honesty. After that, I just sit back and let the drama unfold, but take care not to hurt any sentiments ,because, for me this is all in good humour. So, I am excitedly thinking up weird and funny prank-plots(I just made up that word, sorry Oxford Dictionary) since morning, and then I have to decide on my victims, without saying I wont fool the stupid ones, as fooling is a serious business. And can be challenging too.
So, adios, goodbye, and tomorrow I shall unfold before you all my hits and misses. Till then, Happy Fooling. :)

Happiness

Most of the time we fret over the trivialities and tend to catapult banal issues to demonic heights, not realizing once that it's not easy to feed the beasts and if not handled well, at some point it will surely devour your true self. Agreed, life is an amalgam of different colors but the trick lies in its assimilation which is very simple but since simple seems to be the most difficult for the superior creation we fail to enjoy the simple things in life and appreciate the beauty which envelops us.At times i wonder why do we get into fits of anger and let loose our menacing self which will eventually hurt us only, even if the idea is to hurt someone else our very own heart will not escape the bruises.So take my advice live life simply and try to fill yours as well as others lives you touch with ample love n laughter and feel the difference.